Welcome to the CVAB Online Community Blog. CVAB is a mental health consumer-run agency in Vancouver WA. This is our place to dialog about things related to CVAB and more importantly, those things that affect you and our community health, wellness and recovery.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
What do you want?
I have many ideas for topics and wide ranging possibilities for this blog but I'm curious as to what you might be looking for in this interactive forum. Suggestions?
Hi Brad, I think this could be a very valuable tool for us. I would suggest having a blog area specifically for all general comments, suggestions, and questions, have another area for weekly topics such as "dealing with resentments" Surely some people will still find mostly examples of angry outbursts, but hopefully some people will be able to share about finding healthier ways--drive out of town where no one can hear and just scream--punch a mattress--call warm line, or a friend.--Even writing about a resentment on a blog can be helpful in dealing with it. That's it for now--KAE
I say why not have the support group on wednesdays be held another day. Also its a good idea that there be a walking grp for at least two days in the week. Also is there going to be a grief grp? I certainly am dealing with some grief issues. The last comment about how to deal with anger is excellent. Sincerely e.
What kind of outreach programs can we organize as a community, that is, outside the walls of CVAB? We could have posts for events that have been discussed at length at the center or entirely online. Questions such as "When do we meet?" and "What time?" could be addressed on a confirmation basis, and "Who wants to come that is really going to come?" if nothing else.
Here's a piece to be used for philosophical banter: What's wrong with anger? It seems that a lot of people at CVAB have difficulty responding to anger. Sort of like: it's your own problem, don't make the community toxic. I don't know why it's this way. Anger can motivate people to get a lot done. It can motivate the spirit to grind at deeper levels of being, it can include soul-searching and better understanding of ourselves. We are an advocacy group, after all; don't you think we should be discussing things instead of just commiserating? Yes, there is a difference between the two.
In response to the question, what's wrong with anger? I have to say, it is not the anger that is disruptive as much as the way in which some people deal with anger. There was a period of time in my life during which I did not get angry or upset with anything or anybody. Before I went to see a psychologist and got into some self help programs, I had had a constant headache for several months. I eventually came to realize that I was stuffing all of my emotions, and, without allowing myself any verbal release for my feelings, it was coming out in tension that was painful literally all over my body. I was so tense I had a facial twitch, --Anyway, I eventually was able to accept the fact that even the Bible says; "Be angry but sin not."
I have had to learn to identify feelings and express them.
I do believe that because of the different types of people that come to CVAB with varying levels of communication skills as well as varying levels of emotional stability, it is very appropriate for staff to intervene and request the main social area remain community welcoming. As I expressed in an earlier post, I was a part of such conversation, and personally, I was glad that someone brought to my attention the fact that I was getting loud. And I further appreciated the staff lady joining us in the back room to mediate.
So, we were encouraged to deal with our feelings in a more appropriate setting. A couple of other times I have seen a staff member just come in and calmly defuse a situation.
I know that there have certainly been times I have been frightened by peoples loud, angry sounding words. In time, I have come to accept that it is not necessarily a dangerous situation. I am glad to know that the staff does not allow people to continue to spew loudly in anger. It is part of feeling safe at CVAB.
On a different note, (due in part to a request by Elizabeth C.), people at CVAB have been interested in started a Dungeons & Dragons-related game. Hence, I bring you Tunnels & Trolls, a VERY simplified and cheesy (yet heroic and legendary enough to still be fun)role-playing game. None of the odd-shaped dice. I was thinking Fri. or Sat. from 5-7pm. Any takers? Get in contact with me.
I don’t like it. I don't think CVAB is a good place for that kind of game. I do not believe that D&D and related games help mental wellness. Here are some websites with reasons why I think this.
Taken from: http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp March 29, 2009. This man states being a consultant in on the beginnings of the writing of the game D&D. States in his “conclusion”.
“Thus, in my mind, and in the minds of most who have come out of this background as I have (occultism and Satanism); there is no doubt that Dungeons and Dragons and its imitators are right out of the pit of hell. No Christian or sane, decent individual of whatever faith really should have anything to do with them.”
Taken from http://www.chick.com/articles/frpg.asp March 29, 2009
“Now many understand that role-playing originated formally as a psychological tool. Most counselors and psychologists (including this writer) have used role-playing as a powerful way to transform human behavior and thought.”
i.e.: role-playing can change a person’s behavior, psychologists use it for good—according to this article, D&D does not.
Another article, this one from someone who had been involved in playing the D&D game is found at: http://www.cultlink.com/sentinel/d&d.htm
“…I gave the game up because I felt convicted about playing it; I can’t imagine that it would be God’s will to involve any of his children in the kind of seductive escapism, with blatant anti-biblical themes, provided by D&D...”
I tend to agree with the unsigned anonymous--I skimmed through the articles referenced, and one thing that struck me was the fact that a couple of the game writers actually went to this man and his wife, because they wanted to make certain the rituals were authentic.
Personally, I don't want to have anything to do with it. As for "Tunnels & Trolls"--if it is a "Dungeons & Dragons-related game"--I wouldn't want any part of it either.
I seriously agree that that type of entertainment has no value in a mental health agency. I am sure there are lots of other games and things at CVAB to entertain us in much healthier ways.
OK. It doesn't sound like any of you have played a role-playing game, or know anybody personally who has. I don't care if you pass judgement--we as human beings tend to do that. The post was for finding people that WERE interested in playing the game, not those who WEREN'T.
While we're at it, let us remember that role-playing games encourage intelligent, constructive, and creative thinking; they force people to use their imaginations, and are an outlet for emotions that could lead to negative behavior otherwise.
Excuse me, but I do believe that anything posted here is open for discussion. We have a right to our opinions. I think that it was very good for someone to have done some research providing us with the URL addresses for articles from actual people who have been a part of the creation and/or play. It allows for those who may be intrigued by the game[s] to make an informed decision as to whether they want to participate.
Well, I haven't seen anything added into the CVAB blog for a few days, so I thought I would present another possible line of discussion: I have read somewhere that "Serenity is peace amidst the storm". For several years, I have worked on trying to be at peace within myself. I still have some issues with mentally battling myself over bad decisions I have made. I recently opened my mail and realized that something I had agreed to was not taking place in the way I believe I had agreed to it. Being a Saturday,I was not able to call the place of business in question to attempt to get to the bottom of it, so I found myself walking in circles and going over in my mind conversations on the issue--(past conversations as well as those I would image will be taking place on Monday). Some how I was able to get myself to focus for a moment, and I wrote myself a note to remind me to make some calls on Monday about it. While I was at it, I wrote out a priority list of what I had been planning to take care of before I had opened my mail. (Things like--laundry, dishes, go to the store...)
Anyway, with my list in hand, I still found my insides a bit shaken, so, since the warm line was not available, I was able to call a friend that I have spent a lot of time with at CVAB. (Although I haven't exchanged numbers with a lot of people there, there are a few.) I still can't do anything about the problem until Monday, and it does occasionally come back to mind, but being able to share the experience with another living human being certainly helps me to stop pacing and going in circles over it.
So, I am inviting you to share your latest experience that interfered with your serenity and how did you deal with it?
KAE
PS: Hey, I'm hoping to get some more dialog going here. I heard that if this CVAB BLOG takes off, there m-a-y- -b-e some improvements in the way the CVAB blog is set up. We might be able to start individual threads-? Respond to specific comments-? Who knows-?
These blogs seen dead basically since March. Wish there was more activity. What I struggle with is the ability to fit in. I fit in at work as I am good at pretending all is well. I function as a parent, somedays better then others. I have not really found friends as I am seemingly a complex person. I consider myself highly intelligent and I hold down a full time plus job, raise three kids as a divorced mom, but still I struggle with Mental Health issues. I can't seem to find anyone I mesh with. I don't have extremely high standards or think I am better then anyone, I just can't seem to find any IRL people to talk to or do anything with. I came to CVAB and still felt like a fish out of water like I could not relate to or have much to offer. I have my own home and my own car and I cover all appointments for kids and myself without a whole lot of difficulty but yet I still get depressed and even suicidal at times. I also struggle with an Eating Disorder and that is not something a whole lot of anybody works with here. I am bipolar and living life off meds and out of therapy. It is not a pretty road. I have tried to find a fit with therapists but have yet to find anyone I really can work with or does not treat me like just another number. I guess what I am saying is that I would like some direction on how to get a support system back into my life and how to find friends I can associate with and relate to. Its a but of a lonely path being all the characters I am and having none of them interconnect. Does that make any sense??
I know that making friends can be a very troublesome challenge. Myself, I have never had to work, I got married when I was 17 and that lasted about 14 years. (I have two sons and two daughters.) I isolated through all those years. Since then I have attempted to work several times but has mostly ended with my getting into an emotional frenzy. The last of my children graduated and moved away from home in June of 2000.
In 2003, I sold my home and moved to Vancouver because three of my adult children lived in this area at the time and one grandson. I kind of had to start over in getting used to being around people. When I first started going to CVAB I just sat quietly in the corner looking at whatever puzzle would be out. I had to do that for a long time before I was able to begin to be kind of comfortable, and started contributing into a conversation a little bit at a time. But I would do that for an hour or two, or longer, at least once a week.
There have been times that I have had to go talk to one of the staff who has been trained in Peer Support Counseling. They are really good people to talk to about anything. Sometimes they get pretty busy, but if you let them know you need to talk that will, maybe not at that exact moment, but they will talk to you, privately if need be.
Have you looked in the CVAB May calendar? There is a “Weight loss support” group starting Thursdays at 2 PM. I am not sure what all they will be dealing with, but it might be good to look into it if you are available at that time.
I’m not sure what you mean by “IRL people.” In googling, is it possible you mean “In real life?” That looks like it might fit. I know it is hard to feel connected. You said that you can get along at work because you are good at pretending. That may be what you need to do in making friends. Pretend you are friends. One thing that I did many years ago, when I first started coming out of years of isolating, I had to practice approaching people just to say “hi”. Then I had to look at each conversation I would attempt to start or contribute into as “practicing.” I had to realize that I was going to make mistakes, but with the awareness that each time I practice talking to someone, it gets a little easier. And at CVAB, if I do find I have said something I wish I hadn't, I can go talk to one of the Staff. I can't think of a better place to practice making friends, and probably some of the practice will turn into the real thing.
Again, thanks for writing, and, I hope that you keep trying!
I don't have difficulty making friends, I think I am a fairly likable person. It's just that I have met in my neighborhood or other places are not a good fit with my life. They have issues that I definitely don't need to expose my children to. As far as the weight loss support group, I don't think that would be helpful as the ED I struggle with is Anorexia. I am technically at a healthy weight, but for the life of me can not stop the thought patterns saying otherwise. I think sometimes people think I think I am better then they are because I have a selfish illness or because I function, but that is not true. I accept everyone for who they are and where they are in their lives. Who would I be to sit in judgment when I myself still struggle as much as I do. My lonely path is turning self destructive and it does honestly scare me. The finding a therapist crap is driving me to the brink!!! Ugh,...anyway, I need not to rant on here. Thanks Kae for your wonderful response!!!
cj I have had trouble in the past making friends. IN the last several years that has changed. I now have healthy friends. We are supportive of each other. We never run anybody down with rude remarks. Our own mental health has become very important to us. We share things and never tell anybody else.
Hi Brad, I think this could be a very valuable tool for us. I would suggest having a blog area specifically for all general comments, suggestions, and questions, have another area for weekly topics such as "dealing with resentments" Surely some people will still find mostly examples of angry outbursts, but hopefully some people will be able to share about finding healthier ways--drive out of town where no one can hear and just scream--punch a mattress--call warm line, or a friend.--Even writing about a resentment on a blog can be helpful in dealing with it. That's it for now--KAE
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteI say why not have the support group on wednesdays be held another day. Also its a
good idea that there be a walking grp for at
least two days in the week. Also is there going
to be a grief grp? I certainly am dealing with
some grief issues. The last comment about how
to deal with anger is excellent.
Sincerely e.
What kind of outreach programs can we organize as a community, that is, outside the walls of CVAB? We could have posts for events that have been discussed at length at the center or entirely online. Questions such as "When do we meet?" and "What time?" could be addressed on a confirmation basis, and "Who wants to come that is really going to come?" if nothing else.
ReplyDeleteHere's a piece to be used for philosophical banter: What's wrong with anger? It seems that a lot of people at CVAB have difficulty responding to anger. Sort of like: it's your own problem, don't make the community toxic. I don't know why it's this way. Anger can motivate people to get a lot done. It can motivate the spirit to grind at deeper levels of being, it can include soul-searching and better understanding of ourselves. We are an advocacy group, after all; don't you think we should be discussing things instead of just commiserating? Yes, there is a difference between the two.
ReplyDeleteHere's something I would like: more people responding on this blog! C'mon people now, shine on your brothers everybody get to... anyway, c'mon!
ReplyDeleteIn response to the question, what's wrong with anger? I have to say, it is not the anger that is disruptive as much as the way in which some people deal with anger. There was a period of time in my life during which I did not get angry or upset with anything or anybody. Before I went to see a psychologist and got into some self help programs, I had had a constant headache for several months. I eventually came to realize that I was stuffing all of my emotions, and, without allowing myself any verbal release for my feelings, it was coming out in tension that was painful literally all over my body. I was so tense I had a facial twitch, --Anyway, I eventually was able to accept the fact that even the Bible says; "Be angry but sin not."
ReplyDeleteI have had to learn to identify feelings and express them.
I do believe that because of the different types of people that come to CVAB with varying levels of communication skills as well as varying levels of emotional stability, it is very appropriate for staff to intervene and request the main social area remain community welcoming. As I expressed in an earlier post, I was a part of such conversation, and personally, I was glad that someone brought to my attention the fact that I was getting loud. And I further appreciated the staff lady joining us in the back room to mediate.
So, we were encouraged to deal with our feelings in a more appropriate setting. A couple of other times I have seen a staff member just come in and calmly defuse a situation.
I know that there have certainly been times I have been frightened by peoples loud, angry sounding words. In time, I have come to accept that it is not necessarily a dangerous situation. I am glad to know that the staff does not allow people to continue to spew loudly in anger. It is part of feeling safe at CVAB.
Thanks for asking,
kae
I think that's a wonderful response. Thank you. What do other people think?
ReplyDelete--Nick
On a different note, (due in part to a request by Elizabeth C.), people at CVAB have been interested in started a Dungeons & Dragons-related game. Hence, I bring you Tunnels & Trolls, a VERY simplified and cheesy (yet heroic and legendary enough to still be fun)role-playing game. None of the odd-shaped dice. I was thinking Fri. or Sat. from 5-7pm. Any takers? Get in contact with me.
ReplyDeleteI don’t like it. I don't think CVAB is a good place for that kind of game. I do not believe that D&D and related games help mental wellness. Here are some websites with reasons why I think this.
ReplyDeleteTaken from: http://www.chick.com/articles/dnd.asp March 29, 2009. This man states being a consultant in on the beginnings of the writing of the game D&D. States in his “conclusion”.
“Thus, in my mind, and in the minds of most who have come out of this background as I have (occultism and Satanism); there is no doubt that Dungeons and Dragons and its imitators are right out of the pit of hell. No Christian or sane, decent individual of whatever faith really should have anything to do with them.”
Taken from http://www.chick.com/articles/frpg.asp March 29, 2009
“Now many understand that role-playing originated formally as a psychological tool. Most counselors and psychologists (including this writer) have used role-playing as a powerful way to transform human behavior and thought.”
i.e.: role-playing can change a person’s behavior, psychologists use it for good—according to this article, D&D does not.
Another article, this one from someone who had been involved in playing the D&D game is found at: http://www.cultlink.com/sentinel/d&d.htm
“…I gave the game up because I felt convicted about playing it; I can’t imagine that it would be God’s will to involve any of his children in the kind of seductive escapism, with blatant anti-biblical themes, provided by D&D...”
I tend to agree with the unsigned anonymous--I skimmed through the articles referenced, and one thing that struck me was the fact that a couple of the game writers actually went to this man and his wife, because they wanted to make certain the rituals were authentic.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't want to have anything to do with it. As for "Tunnels & Trolls"--if it is a "Dungeons & Dragons-related game"--I wouldn't want any part of it either.
I seriously agree that that type of entertainment has no value in a mental health agency. I am sure there are lots of other games and things at CVAB to entertain us in much healthier ways.
kae
OK. It doesn't sound like any of you have played a role-playing game, or know anybody personally who has. I don't care if you pass judgement--we as human beings tend to do that. The post was for finding people that WERE interested in playing the game, not those who WEREN'T.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're at it, let us remember that role-playing games encourage intelligent, constructive, and creative thinking; they force people to use their imaginations, and are an outlet for emotions that could lead to negative behavior otherwise.
ReplyDeleteExcuse me, but I do believe that anything posted here is open for discussion. We have a right to our opinions. I think that it was very good for someone to have done some research providing us with the URL addresses for articles from actual people who have been a part of the creation and/or play. It allows for those who may be intrigued by the game[s] to make an informed decision as to whether they want to participate.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the URL's
kae
Well, I haven't seen anything added into the CVAB blog for a few days, so I thought I would present another possible line of discussion: I have read somewhere that "Serenity is peace amidst the storm". For several years, I have worked on trying to be at peace within myself. I still have some issues with mentally battling myself over bad decisions I have made. I recently opened my mail and realized that something I had agreed to was not taking place in the way I believe I had agreed to it. Being a Saturday,I was not able to call the place of business in question to attempt to get to the bottom of it, so I found myself walking in circles and going over in my mind conversations on the issue--(past conversations as well as those I would image will be taking place on Monday). Some how I was able to get myself to focus for a moment, and I wrote myself a note to remind me to make some calls on Monday about it. While I was at it, I wrote out a priority list of what I had been planning to take care of before I had opened my mail. (Things like--laundry, dishes, go to the store...)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, with my list in hand, I still found my insides a bit shaken, so, since the warm line was not available, I was able to call a friend that I have spent a lot of time with at CVAB. (Although I haven't exchanged numbers with a lot of people there, there are a few.) I still can't do anything about the problem until Monday, and it does occasionally come back to mind, but being able to share the experience with another living human being certainly helps me to stop pacing and going in circles over it.
So, I am inviting you to share your latest experience that interfered with your serenity and how did you deal with it?
KAE
PS: Hey, I'm hoping to get some more dialog going here. I heard that if this CVAB BLOG takes off, there m-a-y- -b-e some improvements in the way the CVAB blog is set up. We might be able to start individual threads-? Respond to specific comments-? Who knows-?
These blogs seen dead basically since March. Wish there was more activity. What I struggle with is the ability to fit in. I fit in at work as I am good at pretending all is well. I function as a parent, somedays better then others. I have not really found friends as I am seemingly a complex person. I consider myself highly intelligent and I hold down a full time plus job, raise three kids as a divorced mom, but still I struggle with Mental Health issues.
ReplyDeleteI can't seem to find anyone I mesh with. I don't have extremely high standards or think I am better then anyone, I just can't seem to find any IRL people to talk to or do anything with.
I came to CVAB and still felt like a fish out of water like I could not relate to or have much to offer. I have my own home and my own car and I cover all appointments for kids and myself without a whole lot of difficulty but yet I still get depressed and even suicidal at times.
I also struggle with an Eating Disorder and that is not something a whole lot of anybody works with here. I am bipolar and living life off meds and out of therapy. It is not a pretty road. I have tried to find a fit with therapists but have yet to find anyone I really can work with or does not treat me like just another number.
I guess what I am saying is that I would like some direction on how to get a support system back into my life and how to find friends I can associate with and relate to. Its a but of a lonely path being all the characters I am and having none of them interconnect.
Does that make any sense??
Laynie
Hi Laynie, thanks for writing.
ReplyDeleteI know that making friends can be a very troublesome challenge. Myself, I have never had to work, I got married when I was 17 and that lasted about 14 years. (I have two sons and two daughters.) I isolated through all those years. Since then I have attempted to work several times but has mostly ended with my getting into an emotional frenzy. The last of my children graduated and moved away from home in June of 2000.
In 2003, I sold my home and moved to Vancouver because three of my adult children lived in this area at the time and one grandson. I kind of had to start over in getting used to being around people. When I first started going to CVAB I just sat quietly in the corner looking at whatever puzzle would be out. I had to do that for a long time before I was able to begin to be kind of comfortable, and started contributing into a conversation a little bit at a time. But I would do that for an hour or two, or longer, at least once a week.
There have been times that I have had to go talk to one of the staff who has been trained in Peer Support Counseling. They are really good people to talk to about anything. Sometimes they get pretty busy, but if you let them know you need to talk that will, maybe not at that exact moment, but they will talk to you, privately if need be.
Have you looked in the CVAB May calendar? There is a “Weight loss support” group starting Thursdays at 2 PM. I am not sure what all they will be dealing with, but it might be good to look into it if you are available at that time.
I’m not sure what you mean by “IRL people.” In googling, is it possible you mean “In real life?” That looks like it might fit. I know it is hard to feel connected. You said that you can get along at work because you are good at pretending. That may be what you need to do in making friends. Pretend you are friends. One thing that I did many years ago, when I first started coming out of years of isolating, I had to practice approaching people just to say “hi”. Then I had to look at each conversation I would attempt to start or contribute into as “practicing.” I had to realize that I was going to make mistakes, but with the awareness that each time I practice talking to someone, it gets a little easier. And at CVAB, if I do find I have said something I wish I hadn't, I can go talk to one of the Staff. I can't think of a better place to practice making friends, and probably some of the practice will turn into the real thing.
Again, thanks for writing, and, I hope that you keep trying!
kae
I don't have difficulty making friends, I think I am a fairly likable person. It's just that I have met in my neighborhood or other places are not a good fit with my life. They have issues that I definitely don't need to expose my children to.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the weight loss support group, I don't think that would be helpful as the ED I struggle with is Anorexia. I am technically at a healthy weight, but for the life of me can not stop the thought patterns saying otherwise.
I think sometimes people think I think I am better then they are because I have a selfish illness or because I function, but that is not true. I accept everyone for who they are and where they are in their lives. Who would I be to sit in judgment when I myself still struggle as much as I do.
My lonely path is turning self destructive and it does honestly scare me. The finding a therapist crap is driving me to the brink!!!
Ugh,...anyway, I need not to rant on here.
Thanks Kae for your wonderful response!!!
Laynie
cj I have had trouble in the past making friends. IN the last several years that has changed. I now have healthy friends. We are supportive of each other. We never run anybody down with rude remarks. Our own mental health has become very important to us. We share things and never tell anybody else.
ReplyDelete